An Engineer vs A Frog

An engineer was crossing a road
one-day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,
I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want. "

Again the engineer took the frog out,
smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked,
"What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess,
and that I'll stay with you for a week and
do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said,
"Look, I'm an engineer.
I don't have time for a girlfriend,
but having a talking frog, now that's cool."

Book for sale...

An old man was standing with a book for sale.

A young man came to buy.

He bought the book for Rs.3000.

Old man advised
"DON'T OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK otherwise You'll face a great problem"

Man finished the book with great fear but didn't open the last page.
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But,after a week,
Out of curiosity he opened the last page and..
he almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price of the book is: Rs 30/-

Killer English!

School teacher's killer English:

1. Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin!

2. Both of you three, stand together separately!

3. Will you hang that calendar or I'll "HANG MYSELF!"

4. Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father!

5. Why are you looking at the monkey outside when I am in the class...?

6. I have 2 daughters, both are girls.

7. Stand in the middle of the corner!!!

Its Performance, not Position that Counts !

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at heavens gate.
 

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
God to the guy : Who r u ?
Guy : I am a bus driver.
God : Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.
 

God to the Priest : Who r u ?
Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.
God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven.
 

Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good get cotton.
 

God : Results, my son, results. While you preached, people slept, when he drove, people really prayed...
 

“Its Performance, not Position that Counts !!”

Marketing Lecture!

A Professor explained Marketing
to students

1) U see gorgeous girl in party, U
go to her & say I’m rich marry
me
Thats “Direct Marketing”

2) U attend party & ur friend
goes to a girl & pointng at U tells
her. He is very rich, marry him
Thats “Advertising”

3) Girl walks to U & says U rich,
can U marry me?
“That’s Brand Recognition”

4) U say I’m very rich marry me
& she slaps U
“Thats Customer Feedback”

5) U say I’m very rich marry me
& she introduces U to her
husband
“Thats Demand & SupPly Gap”

6) Before U say I’m rich, marry
me, your wife arrives
Thats “Restriction from Entering
New Market”:-)